Why is herding some people so hard.

Hi,
The problem is being too in tuned to ones self and not thinking of others.
Two customers complained about the service. We were busy and understaffed. When I confronted the server he was very defensive. After close I tried again. I started out with "who determines when you need help? He said "I (the Mgr). I said "No". He said " I (meaning himself). I said "No". He was at a loss. I then said "The customer determines when you need help". When it gets busy and a customer has to come up front for service, they have determined you need help. We are a team and we all help each other. We don't keep score of who asks for help and who doesn't. There is no competition. He is 19. He is not the only person we have hired that at times cannot make a distinction as to what is best for the customer. I learned this when I was young. It is much harder to learn when you are older. Thinking of others first. My generation was accused of being door mats and we were, but it is better to be a doormat and grow out of it than to never have the ability to see other than yourself. My waiter will go on to be a good waiter. He is a nice person. Nice people are hard to find. My two best servers make me feel very selfish at times. They give their heart and soul into their job and its an awesome thing to watch.

The People Herder